He Has a Sense of Humor?

Once upon a time, there was a girl and a boy who were ridiculously stupid with money.  They married, had children and worked incredibly hard...sacrificing time with their children in order to overflow their checking accounts with money.  They ate out all the time, and one of them worked so hard that it actually created a permanent medical condition forever altering the pattern of brain waves (or whatever.  I almost bored myself to tears as I wrote that sentence). 

Anyway.  They were wealthy.  And grumpy.  And tired.  And irritable.  And full of regrets, but unwilling to release the grip of "comfort" with respect to finances.  Instead of actually track the money, why not work hard to just fill up the accounts until it doesn't matter? 

After 6 months, the couple was desperate for a vacation.  The stress and the pressure were overwhelming.  They felt unhappy, and they attributed it to "not enough time together".  So, fittingly, they spontaneously decided to go to Hawaii.  They stayed in Maui and it was a taste of heaven on earth.  It was so amazing that they later actually named their daughter after this place (Makena beach).  It kept them going for at least 18 more months as they continued along the same path.  It served as an anchor in their marriage. 
Remember when we were happy in Maui? 
I can get through anything. 
Remember the hammock?  Remember the warm breeze?  Remember snorkeling with turtles?
Yes I do! Anybody can poop on anything, and I can handle it. 

Work hard, avoid any hint of what's not working, and believe that all good things are a result of hard work.  My work?  My money.  Money in the account?  Happy boy, happy girl.  Sad kids who miss their mother and spend too much time with exhausted parents?  Problematic but not as stressful as wondering about money.  Medical conditions popping up?  Hesitation....but you'd never catch them saying "I can't do this".  I can and will do anything.  My success is a direct result of my hard work.

To make a long horrible story short, it all came to a screeching halt.  The medical condition established it's place, permanently limiting the ability of one to work overtime and "make it happen".  Other variables began to vary, and it all came crashing down.  For greater than 14 months now, nothing (and I do mean NOTHING) has come together financially.  No ability to create peace.  The boy and the girl could only sit back, watching things crumble and hang together by a thread. 

Blessings everywhere.  Money nowhere to be found. 

So why am I telling the Internet all of this?  Mostly because I just want to announce that God has an excellent sense of humor.  Maybe it's irony?  Regardless, He is hysterical.  (I like this guy a lot.)  Several times a month Chris and I hold our breath to see if it comes together.  For the better part of 14 months, the answer is overwhelmingly negative.  But it's becoming our new normal, and it's okay.  It's teaching us a lot, and we hope we'll never be the same as we were.  There are times in this struggle where it feels like we can almost reach out and touch God because He is so near.  We are stressed, but desperation in where God hangs out. 

So anyway, what's my point?  We are broke. 

And we are headed to Maui.

Not joking.  SAME HOTEL.  SAME EVERYTHING.  Chris qualified for this all-expenses paid trip to Maui to the exact location that we stayed when we were literally insane with greed.  We are going to Maui and the trip just drips with irony.  Our kids are staying with people who have lent us money. We are just full of shock and confusion, as well as several ounces of guilt.  But we'll go all the same.  It's just crazy.  Why did State Farm pick our favorite place with the exact hotel that we love? 

I just picture a loving God with a twinkle in his eye saying "Don't count me out yet, lady."