I think maybe it's taken me about 10 years of relationship with Chris before I came to the conclusion yesterday that it's a very real possibility that I've never really understood a single word he has said. Because it dawned on me that his words and my words don't actually mean the same thing.
For example, a major challenge in our life is the much hated, much detested task of budgeting and paying bills. Neither of us like it. In fact, both of us would rather live in a van down by the ocean then actually pay bills. (Yes, darling, I said it. I would join you if somebody would actually buy all of our crap from us.)
We both hate checking the mail.
We both hate opening mail.
We both hate looking at mail.
We both hate looking for the lost checkbook for an hour.
We both hate sitting down and focusing on something super lame.
We both hate adding/subtracting/thinking about numbers.
We both hate looking at the final number.
Get the idea? With respect to the financial world, I married my twin...not my opposite.
We have settled the debate (at least for now), and Chris is taking the lead. Because I won the battle by noting that God identified him as the leader, and I'm the submit person. So I SUBMIT. Winner me.
So yesterday, Chris announced to me while driving me to work that he was going to be some sort of lion about the finances and go hunt stuff and kill it a lot and bring it back because he was tired of waiting for it to fall over dead.
Side note: See? I can't even paraphrase it right because I don't have any idea what the words meant that were coming out of his face. WHAT?
So I'm really very delighted at what he's saying. Or should I say, I'm so happy to hear what I think I'm hearing, based solely on his tone and inflection. But beyond that? I'm lost.
So I said "Wow! That sounds awesome. But what does it mean?"
"It's like I'm just going to engage and then hunt the animal and be the leader. Because nobody wants to be the leader."
"Oh....kay. Wait. Can we redo this conversation and talk about your feelings?"
He stares at me. Long pause, then a simple "no".
"Okay. So you thought the lion would just fall over dead at some point?"
"No, blah blah blah blah blah furry animal." (He didn't actually say that, this is just word for word what I heard.)
"Okay. I'm not the furry animal or the lion, am I?"
"Nope." He sounds exasperated.
"Well yay then!" I say. "Good for you."
So I'm pretty sure that he's doing something different now, but for the life of me, I'm not sure what it is. I'll just roll with it. But it does have me pondering....could I have gotten him to hunt some wild game or whatever a long time ago by using man language? Because I certainly said a lot of feeling words in an attempt to get him motivated. BUT IT NEVER WORKED. In the past, our conversations go something like this:
"Chris? I want you to do (insert project here) because I feel (insert feeling here)."
"Okay."
Nothing happens.
"Chris, you never did that thing."
"Why didn't you just ask?"
Cut to Jessica getting all crazy and Chris looking totally confused.
I think boys and girls are actually different. Maybe in the next 10 years with him, we'll actually have a conversation wherein we both understand what is being said.
That will be nice.
By the way, I really hope I'm not the lion. Or the furry animals. Seriously...WHAT?
