Chris' Ultimate Dream

One thing I wish I would have known when I was dating was that the man you marry is exactly the man you marry....as in, he's not going to change.  What you see is what you get. 

Don't get me wrong....I most certainly would have married Chris.  However, a moment in Hawaii reiterated this fact for me.  He is exactly the boy that I married.  It's been nearly 10 years since I met him, and he's the exact same guy. 

In Hawaii, after about 4 days of relaxation, we finally arrived at the moment where you start to just talk to each other about whatever comes to mind.  We were sitting in this great Cheeseburger restaurant (Cheeseburger in Paradise), a musician was playing and we were both enjoying the atmosphere.  We were seated next to an open air balcony with gorgeous Hawaiian plants surrounding us.  This is probably, like our 5th date ever since having Chase.  (We need to work on that.)

So we are both enjoying the music, and I break the comfortable silence by saying "Okay.  What would be your wildest dream come true if there were no limitations at all?  You could have anything or accomplish anything you want.  What would it be?"

I absolutely kid you not.  I exaggerate always on occasion, but this is literally what he said:

"I would get a van, park it on the beach and do odd jobs to make enough money to buy beer at the local bar.  And then maybe I would bet on a horse or something so I could live large for like, four days." 

You. Have. Got. To. Be. Kidding. Me.

What does a wife say to this?  The thoughts completely leave my head.  I'm speechless.  I've had three children with a man who wants to live in a van down by the river.  Chris Farley style. The musician is playing Jack Johnson and our food arrives.  

So I eventually respond:  "Really?  With absolutely no limitations to your dream, you would be a homeless person living in a van?  Like that Chris Farley skit where the dude lives in a van, DOWN BY THE RIVER?"

Chris nods, watches the musician and sort of bobs his head to the music.  He pops a fry into his mouth and nods.  "No, not by the river.  By the ocean."

Oh.  Duh.  Cause that's 100% different. 

A few minutes pass, and I finish my drink.  The air is warm, the air smells sweet. the food tastes amazing.  I'm loving the time, but wondering how this "man of my dreams" is dreaming of homelessness.  I'm remembering that he's essentially describing exactly how he lived in college, where he would receive money, "live large, for like four days" and then return to essentially homeless status until the next money arrived.  How has 10 years passed and he is the same boy?

His eyes return to me and he says "Your turn.  What's your dream?  No limitations."

Deep breath.  Do you know how awkward it is to share a farteched dream with this man who dreams of periods of starvation until he "hits it big on a horse"?

Here goes nothing.  "I would write a book and it would be wildly famous."

Awkward silence. 

Then Chris says "Oh.  So...like....you would contribute to society....and do stuff."

Long pause....and then I said "riiiiight."

Chris looks pensive for a moment.  He never looks pensive.  I wonder to myself....maybe he'll replace his dream of homelessness with hopes for bringing clean water to Africa.  The moment is heavy with anticipation.  He's going to whip a dream out that's amazing.  I can't wait for him to speak again.

"Well I thought it was just our dream if we didn't have any kids.  I guess I would choose to have like, a ghetto apartment or something instead of the van."

At least he's consistent.